Language and Success: Invariably Linked
This week’s article is not about training. It’s about success. The following article was written by Mike Panebianco of Able Training Systems, LLC. Here’s more on Mike, in his own words:
My goal and purpose at ATS is to help my clients build their resiliency in challenging conditions. We train multidimensional experiences in communication, confidence building, and personal leadership for corporate or private clients. We blend the research used to enhance flight safety with cutting edge personal defense training to address common resiliency issues. Events cover the span between mindset development to full contact personal safety courses.
Here’s the article.
Success Solution: Words
Changing the way people talk can change their chances of success. I spend a lot of time trying to make my training program, Resiliency Path Training, help people make changes to improve their lives. I have been looking for the one true measure of what will signify success in my own efforts. I think the indicator is language. How do they talk when they are finished with RPT. What does language have to do with it?
Robbins, Covey, Dyer, etc. The guys who make millions trying to make you stronger, change the way you look at things, help you set goals and overcome your obstacles in the path of success, they want you to change the way you behave, the way you think. I’d like to focus down on the one thing that binds us togetherthe way we talk.
The way to elevate your position in life is through your language. Language is what binds us all together, creates our groups, elevates our mission, or chains us to a group of turkeys. It can go either way.
Language Indicates Thoughts and Beliefs
The words we choose give insight to others as to what our thoughts and beliefs are. Do those thoughts and beliefs attract others to where you are, or where you are headed? Are your words consistent and true, or are they self serving?
Ever look at the language people who are “stuck” use? “If only.”, “The Rich”, “Why not me”, “Only the lucky people” begin the statements of why they, and people like them can’t get unstuck. Believe it or not, that language is attractive to people who are stuck. They all stick together.stuck.
Blast out of the cycle. This is a free country, and the last time I checked, there was no genetic requirement to become a success, be confident, or thrive under pressure.. It takes a personal effort. I qualified for food stamps for years in my journey. It wasn’t my birthright to be successful. I found a way out. My language has evolved, it evolved first. The successes followed.
Value in You, and then.
Getting out of the basement with your language is a start. Getting out of the “if only’s”, and “this sucks” and realizing you are capable and worthy is the beginning. Changing your language from poverty to plenty only gets you half way. Self service to your own needs gets you out of the pits and into the race, but you will never be great by using the language that says “I, me, my, mine”. There is no legacy in “me”. Believing in yourself, and reinforcing that belief in your language will start you on your way, but won’t take you to the high ground.
How many of you know people who continually talk about how great they are, how great their product is, how great their accomplishments are? How often do they talk about the value of others? Not often. How many people do you see following them that are of great successes themselves??? Not many. Do these people build anything up other than themselves, at your expense?
These people are not stuck, but they aren’t great to anyone but those beneath them in language.. Think about that..
Listen to the language people are using. If its riddled with I, me, my, mine, you might guess that they have a value system that is focused on just that. Them. That’s better than the destructomatic speech used by the “life isn’t fair” crowd, but it doesn’t lead to true resiliency, or higher ground living. Everything that hits them is some personal affront.because it’s all about “me, I, my, mine” all the time.
Taking the High Ground
The kind of life we all seem to want to live is one of value. Having values, connecting with others with similar values, and enjoying the journey together seems to be a life well lived. In short a more fulfilling life. Regardless of the circumstances we live through..
To leave our mark in this world, we want to not just elevate ourselves to new heights, but we have to bring others on our journey as well. In the Resiliency Path Training model we will frequently talk about High Ground. What we refer to is the place where our values, our mission, our beliefs, and our drive all meet and create the life we aspire to. The Resiliency in RPT is strengthened by the bonds we make with others, the way we elevate others, the way we offer our empathy and compassion, our encouragement, our presence to others. That is signified by our language as we communicate with one another.
Getting to the high ground is NOT a solo mission for anyone. We need others to come along, and as strange as it may seem, you almost have to live to see them get to it first, to help them achieve it themselves for you to ever get to yours. See the paradox in that? Unselfish selfishness? For you to achieve the high ground, you must help others achieve it first. Can you grasp that? It’s the secret of some of the happiest, most successful people you may ever know. (not measured in $$)
Choosing your Language
Choosing the words, “we, us, together, group, team, network” bring that unity to our language that inspires others to join or follow in our journey, and lets them know we are with them in theirs. Language centered around principles brings concrete to the intent of the words. It takes conscious thought to use these words, and to act and think in line with them. Language that is generous, encouraging, inspirational, kind, honest, truthful is congruous with the worthy mission.
Flattery, selfishness, I, Me, slick language is a red flag. Manipulators of language, and frauds are soon exposed. Like a poker player, eventually we can read the tell of someone manipulating language for personal gain.
How many times have you been addressed as a Team, yet looked around and saw a group of individuals who just happened to share proximity, employment, or goals, but didn’t work together at all? I have seen it, and continue to see it every day. It’s empty, uninspiring, and it does nothing to further the team when there’s a bunch of self centered people sharing space. Miami Heat ring a bell this season?? The words have to be backed with value for anyone to buy them. We, Us, Team, Network, value, integrity. It has to be about a cause greater than you.
That means YOU have to believe it, and to wholly rip off the famous movie line from “Field of Dreams”, “If you build it, they will come” Your language can’t just be a ball field in the corn, the game has to live in your head, your actions, your being.
What does this blog mean????
Ok, so you read all this, and you’re saying “Mike, what is all this? You’ve rambled on about language for 1000 words, yet you haven’t said anything about what I should do, or why its important in RPT?”
It’s all about getting you to watch the language you use, and tracking your results. If you’re stuck, you need to find language that will get you unstuck, taking the focus off the wrongs of the world, and back on to you, and the fact that you are as worthy as the next person to be fulfilled.
Once you do that, and you see that it elevates you to a better place, I hope that you will see that the path to great things is by changing that language once again. This time the focus of our language has to be on others. This is the high ground.
If you lead a business or organization, a team, a crew, refocus your language and ask yourself to whom you serve, and to what end? Does your language serve them? That end? Or does your language serve you? Do your results show this?
Challenge yourself. Check your results over time. Change your language, and you may find your actions and thought patterns will change with you. It takes a conscious effort to form effective language. It WILL change you.
The high ground can only be attained and held if we believe, value, and communicate a commitment to the benefit of a greater purpose than ourselves.